Would You Work For Yourself?

Leadership starts with self-reflection. It is easy to believe we are supportive, fair, communicative, and empowering. Yet the people we lead often experience our actions, tone, and presence very differently. Research consistently shows that leaders have a significant influence on how people feel, think, and perform at work. In fact, many employees report that their manager has one of the strongest impacts on their mental and emotional well-being.¹

With this much influence, taking a close look at your approach is not optional. It is essential. Before diving deeper, answer these two questions:

- If leadership were a 5-star rating, what score would you give yourself today?

- What score would your team give you?

The gap between these two answers is your opportunity for growth. Here are three ways to narrow the gap.

1. Show up better.

People watch leaders closely. Your tone in a meeting, your ability to stay calm under pressure, your follow-through, and even your body language all ripple outward. Humans are wired to respond to emotional cues, especially from those who hold authority. When leaders approach their work with steadiness, curiosity, and composure, teams feel safer and more capable. When leaders are overwhelmed, reactive, or inconsistent, teams sense it immediately.

This does not mean leaders must be upbeat or polished at all times. It means being intentional. Ask yourself:

-  What emotional climate do I create?

- Do people feel calmer or more stressed after interacting with me?

- If someone rated my presence at work today, would it feel like a 3-star or a 5-star experience?

Small practices such as pausing before responding, naming your current capacity, or taking time to reset before a tough meeting can create meaningful shifts in how people experience you.

2. Don't use positivity as a crutch.

Many leaders work hard to be encouraging and solutions focused. While this is valuable, too much positivity can have an unintended effect. When employees sense that challenges, concerns, or negative emotions are unwelcome, they may stay silent. Over time, that silence can lead to disengagement, burnout, and poor decision-making.

Being a leader people want to follow means creating space for real conversations. Consider:

 - Do people feel comfortable telling you when something is not working?

 - Do I invite input, or do I unintentionally shut it down by rushing to fix things?

 - Would my team rate psychological safety as a 5-star experience, or something far below?

Leaders who encourage honest dialogue signal that all experiences are valid and that the goal is learning, not perfection. This openness strengthens trust and helps create a healthier, more resilient team culture.

3. Keep your ego in check.

Great leaders bring clarity, direction, and confidence. Exceptional leaders pair those strengths with humility. They ask for feedback, remain open to better ways of doing things, and avoid letting ego get in the way of team growth.

A simple reflection exercise is to ask your team what support would help them thrive. Then listen without defending, explaining, or correcting. Feedback can be uncomfortable, but it is one of the most powerful tools for leadership development.

Humility also shows up in how leaders respond when they make mistakes. Owning missteps, correcting course, and showing a willingness to learn sets the tone for the entire team. It creates psychological safety and models the kind of accountability most leaders want from others.

As you work to close the gap between how you view yourself as a leader and how your team views you, be gentle. Remember, great leadership is not about perfection. It's about self-awareness, growth, and the willingness to adjust course. Small, intentional shifts can dramatically improve the experience of those you lead.

The bottom line: your team is watching, and your influence matters. Every day is a chance to earn a stronger rating and become the kind of leader people are proud to follow.