The "Imperfect" Gift for You and Your Team

Leadership often comes with an unspoken expectation to have it all together: to be confident, decisive, and always get it right the first time. Many leaders carry the belief that mistakes signal weakness, uncertainty erodes credibility, and vulnerability should be carefully managed, if not avoided altogether.

But what if that belief is holding us back? In Brené Brown's book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she highlights the paradox that accepting our imperfections is actually the foundation of confidence and authentic leadership.

As the year comes to a close, December offers a natural moment to reflect not just on outcomes and achievements, but also on how we showed up along the way. When we look closely, many of the most meaningful leadership moments came from imperfection:

• The honest conversation that did not go exactly as planned.
• The decision that required revisiting.
• The moment of uncertainty that led to deeper listening.

These moments, while uncomfortable, often become the ones that build trust, insight, and growth.

Why perfection is so appealing and so costly

Our brains are wired to avoid threat. Perfection can feel like protection. If I get this right, I will not be criticized. If I have the answer, I will not look unprepared. If I stay in control, I will not fail.

The problem is that the pursuit of perfection keeps leaders in performance mode rather than learning mode. It narrows attention, increases stress, and discourages curiosity. When leaders feel pressure to be flawless, they are more likely to default to telling rather than asking, defending rather than exploring, and playing it safe rather than stretching.

Over time, this doesn't just hold us back. It shapes the culture around us as well.

Teams quickly pick up on what is rewarded and what is risky. In perfection-driven environments, people play it safe, avoid speaking up, and hide mistakes. Innovation slows. Learning becomes shallow. Trust erodes quietly.

Imperfection as a leadership strength

Imperfection, when paired with reflection and accountability, is not a liability. It is a strength.

When leaders acknowledge missteps, name uncertainty, or share what they are learning in real time, they signal psychological safety. They show that growth matters more than image and that learning is expected at every level.

Neuroscience reinforces this. The brain learns through trial, error, and feedback. New neural pathways are strengthened when we notice what did not work, reflect on it, and try again. Leaders who allow space for imperfection create conditions where learning actually sticks.

This does not mean lowering standards or avoiding accountability. It means shifting from perfection to progress. From knowing to learning. From control to trust.

The power of self-compassion in leadership

One of the hardest places to allow imperfection is with ourselves. Many leaders are far more forgiving with others than they are with their own missteps. The internal narrative can be relentless. We think:

• I should have handled that better.
• I should know this by now.
• I should not have made that mistake.

Research shows that self-criticism increases stress and reduces cognitive flexibility. Self-compassion, on the other hand, supports resilience, problem-solving, and emotional regulation.

Leaders who practice self-compassion are better able to recover from setbacks, stay open to feedback, and remain grounded under pressure. They are also more likely to extend that same grace to others.

What embracing imperfection looks like in practice

Embracing imperfection does not require grand gestures. It often shows up in small, everyday moments:

• Admitting when you do not have the answer and inviting input
• Reflecting openly on what you would approach differently next time
• Responding to mistakes with curiosity rather than blame
• Letting go of unrealistic expectations, including your own

These actions create ripple effects. They normalize learning. They build trust. They invite others to bring their full thinking to the table.

A December reflection

As the year wraps up, consider these questions:

• What did this year teach you about yourself as a leader?
• Where did imperfection lead to insight or growth?
• What expectations are you ready to release as you move into the new year?

Leadership is not about being flawless. It is about being human, reflective, and willing to grow. When leaders give themselves permission to be imperfect, they offer the same gift to their teams.

And that may be one of the most powerful leadership gifts of all.

About eLeadership Academy^®

Exclusive to credit unions, eLeadership Academy is the only online training solution that provides accessible, actionable training to develop high-performance leaders that people love to follow. We are on a mission to help build leadership and coaching bench strength within the system because we know credit unions are a force for good, and their leaders are the catalyst for member and employee experience. For more information, visit www.eleadershipacademy.com or contact [email protected].