Are You Caught in an Authenticity Paradox?

Authenticity is often described as the hallmark of effective leadership. It builds trust, fosters connection, and strengthens credibility. But what happens when being your “authentic self” feels at odds with what the situation demands? That’s where the authenticity paradox comes in.

This paradox shows up when who you are doesn’t fully align with who you need to be to lead effectively in the moment. It’s the tension between staying grounded in your identity and stretching into new habits in service of your role and your people. This paradox is normal, and even necessary for growth.

Leaders must constantly navigate opposing forces. You’re expected to:

•  Deliver feedback with both heart and backbone
•  Be in control while staying hands-off
•  Show courage and vulnerability
•  Be both decisive and collaborative
•  Balance humility with confidence

One side of each polarity may feel more natural to you than the other. But effective leadership isn’t about choosing one side or the other. It’s about balancing both. That requires stepping out of your comfort zone to do something that feels inauthentic in the moment to become a more fully developed version of yourself in the long term.

Neuroscience gives us insight into why this paradox is uncomfortable. Our brains crave consistency. The default mode network helps shape our sense of identity, reinforcing activities and beliefs that feel familiar and safe. When we stretch into something new—like a reserved leader speaking in front of a large group—it activates the prefrontal cortex, which governs adaptability and self-regulation and requires more effort and energy. The result? Growth can feel like inauthenticity because your brain hasn’t fully integrated the new habits into part of who you are ... yet.

To lead authentically through this discomfort, you need three things: clarity, conviction, and courage. It starts with knowing what you stand for and what you’re willing to stand up for. Your values are your internal compass. They clarify what matters most and guide your actions, especially under pressure.

Your convictions are how those values show up in real life: what you’re willing to speak up for or defend, even when it’s uncomfortable.

When your actions align with your values and convictions, others experience you as grounded, trustworthy, and consistent. Neuroscience tells us this congruence activates mirror neurons in others, promoting connection, empathy, and trust. This is the foundation of leadership presence—not charisma, but integrity.

Stretching into new activities and habits may feel unfamiliar or even awkward at first. But that doesn’t mean it’s inauthentic. It means you’re growing. Authenticity is not about saying, “This is who I am.” It’s about saying, “This is what I value, and I’m willing to stretch in service of it.” So the next time you find yourself in the middle of an authenticity paradox, take the opportunity to reaffirm your values, and grow into the leader you're meant to become.

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Exclusive to credit unions, eLeadership Academy is the only online training solution that provides accessible, actionable training to develop high-performance leaders. We are on a mission to help build leadership and coaching bench strength within the system because we know credit unions are a force for good, and their leaders are the catalyst for member and employee experience. For more information, visit www.eleadershipacademy.com or contact [email protected].